Trouble? What trouble? We are all meant to be buddies, brothers. 

Good morning Everyone. 

Yesterday I learnt with dismay from a friend that this blog isn’t the most popular within the Enyimba camp. A lot of players are angry at us cos of what we write everyday and how we ‘criticize’ them. 

I’m sorry. I apologize to everyone who we have angered by virtue of what we write here daily. Forgive and forget and I promise you, I owe you a drink when next we see. That’s my humble peace offering. Deal? 

But we are not too hard on players and coaches on this blog, are we? Could it be that you are misunderstanding what we write? It feels so because we have a principle here not to criticize destructively. 

Secondly, sometimes we write things in the spur of the moment. For instance, Enyimba just lost a game and our rivals won. Things and emotions could get out of hand and we just come here and rant. Please forgive. 

So today, I’ve decided to add a definition to some words that we use here. So that whenever you see it written, you know exactly what it means and not what it sounds like. 

Words and meanings below: 

GOAL: A goal is what happens when you kick the round thing everyone is chasing around, beneath the crossbar, between the two uprights and either side or underneath the goalkeeper. Unless you’re Rashidi Yekini or Thunder Balogun, in which case, you can shoot at the goalkeeper and still score. 

BAD GAME: This is when our player, our world class player (ALL our players are world-class, all of them, else we won’t have signed them) plays below his usual level of performance. Playing like it’s not you. You know, like it’s said, “to whom much is given, much is expected”.  

ENYIMBA: Nigeria’s biggest, most successful and best-supported club and, as such, the one any player in the country would be privileged to play for. The team usually wears blue or white or both and more recently black. Yea, black. 

OPPOSITION: The other guys who are wearing different colors. UNDER NO circumstances are you to pass the ball to them, however you may receive passes from them. The aim is to score more goals (see definition above) than them, preferably against their own goalkeeper.   

THATENYIMBAFAN BLOG: A platform and outlet for the passion of fans of Enyimba (see definition above). It is not run by robots, and as such, emotions happen and sometimes they can even write utter rubbish, bullocks, you know, stuff that don’t make any sense especially to the players. We have asked the players to look at it this way- as player(s) of Enyimba, you control the content on this blog. 

MR AIGBOGUN: The Gaffer. Le Boss. The Technical Adviser of Enyimba, the Pep Guardiola of Aba (no hair, you get the joke? Eh? Ah, never mind). You know he’s new here so he’s still integrating nicely. Moreover, he has had to deal with challenges that no other coach at the club or in the country has dealt with before. We support Enyimba, and so we support him. Always. Always. Always. 

UDOJI: Skipper of life, Mr Enyimba. Lives and breathes Enyimba. His passion and play can overwhelm any team so it was safer for the Elephant to recruit him. One more thing, warning to the journalists, we don’t dare give any interviews without first ‘giving God all the glory’. 

OUR PLAYER: Whoever has been opportuned to wear the hallowed blue of this great club. Even when you leave, you never really leave us, and an elephant never forgets.   

PLAYER OF THE MONTH: Whoever has shown consistency of performance over the course of four weeks. Goals help too, in case any of our multitude of strikers feel like picking this up. Anyone?

Back tomorrow. 

‘EnyimbaEnyi 

By the way, definitions from ThatEnyimbaFan dictionary. Sanctioned only by ThatEnyimbaFan Board of Directors. 

Images by @TitanChinakwe.

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